Some people kill for fame and fortune. I'm killing for the chance to bang my Jack-in-the-box.

Yeah it's crazy, but my life blows worse than my ex. The only family member I like just died, my Mom's married to a POS perv, and if you look up 'slum lord' in the dictionary, there's a picture of my property managers.

Three steps away from needing a short vacation in a grippy-sock house, I find the antique Jack-in-the-box that used to terrify me as a kid. Sure, it scared me back then, but I start...
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Some people kill for fame and fortune. I'm killing for the chance to bang my Jack-in-the-box.

Yeah it's crazy, but my life blows worse than my ex. The only family member I like just died, my Mom's married to a POS perv, and if you look up 'slum lord' in the dictionary, there's a picture of my property managers.

Three steps away from needing a short vacation in a grippy-sock house, I find the antique Jack-in-the-box that used to terrify me as a kid. Sure, it scared me back then, but I start talking to it like it's actually alive—

—And then he invades my dreams.

There, he's real—a surprisingly sexy, lanky, sad little clown man called Claus with a spring where his legs should be. But that doesn’t stop him from using that painted smile to bring me more pleasure than I’ve ever known.

Then he tells me he can join me in the real world—just one catch: he needs a human sacrifice.

…I'm seriously considering it, if it means I can bounce on more than just his coil.
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