Hockey isn’t forever. The money, excitement, and glory of being a professional hockey player meant more to me than a family, a home, and a forever. Another man has my forever, and I have hockey. I thought making the big bucks and playing against the best in the world would feel better than this. Instead I’m empty and hollow, like a big piece of my heart was hacked off. There's something missing. Something big. Something I can never get back.